Then and Now.

So Christmas is here tomorrow, and it doesn’t even feel like Christmas. Maybe it’s because it’s 65 degrees and sunny in Colorado, but I’ve also noticed that the older I get the less enthusiasm I seem to have for it. Which is sad, because it’s always been my favorite holiday. I do know, though, that this season will feel different again someday.

When I have children of my own, I want Christmas to be something they genuinely look forward to - a time that feels steady, comforting, and full of meaning. I want to be intentional about slowing down, being present, and creating simple traditions that make them feel loved and secure. More than anything, I hope Christmas becomes a time they associate with togetherness and feeling deeply cared for.

I also know that Christmas can be hard for a lot of people. For some, it comes with loss, distance, or reminders of what’s missing rather than what’s present. It can bring up complicated emotions, unmet expectations, or a sense of loneliness that feels louder during this time of year. I try to hold space for that reality too - to remember that not everyone experiences this season the same way, and that it’s okay if Christmas doesn’t feel joyful or easy. Sometimes simply getting through it is enough.

Outside of the holidays, the past couple of weeks have reminded me how grateful I am for the life I’m building, especially the love I share with Aidan. He brings so much light and steadiness into my life in ways I never expected. I never thought I'd find someone whose presence I’d crave more than my alone time, but with him, even the most ordinary moments feel meaningful. Life feels lighter when I’m with him, and I’m constantly reminded how lucky I am to love and be loved in return.

That sense of gratitude was only deepened when our power went out for four days last week. It’s wild how quickly you realize how dependent you are on electricity for everyday comfort and routine. Instead of letting it frustrate us, Aidan and I made the best of it - wandering around Target and Costco just to stay occupied. It was such a simple thing, but it reminded me that happiness can exist even in inconvenience, especially when you’re sharing it with the right person.

Going back to my last reflection, I shared how challenging it’s been to find a job. That part of life is still uncertain, but I’m continuing to show up, apply, and trust that something will fall into place when it’s meant to. Remaining hopeful hasn’t always been easy, but it’s something I’m actively choosing.

As the year comes to a close, I’m thinking a lot about growth - about what I want to leave behind and what I want to carry forward. I hope to break some habits that no longer serve me and lean into the version of myself I’m becoming. I’m excited to see what 2026 holds - a year I’m choosing to believe will be filled with opportunity, growth, and happiness.

In Between.