26.

I meant to write this on my actual birthday, but of course I’m behind. Anyway, I turned 26 last Wednesday, and let me tell you - it’s a crazy mix of emotions.

Getting older is so weird because I still feel like I’m 20, even though my actual age is 26. I wonder when it really hits you that you’re not a baby anymore. I mean, I do grown-up things: I pay my own bills, grocery shop, all of that - but growing up still feels strange.

If you asked me at 18 where I thought I’d be at 26, I probably would’ve said something wild, like having my dream job or being super rich. Turns out, that’s not the case. Life moves fast, and not everyone has it all figured out by 26.

I have friends who are married, have bought houses, and have kids. I also have friends who live paycheck to paycheck, like myself, and are still trying to figure out who they are. Both ways of living are completely normal, and it took me a while to truly understand that.

Ever since I was younger, people always told me, “You’re in the right place” or You’re right where you’re supposed to be.” I used to shrug it off, thinking, yeah, whatever - you just say that to make people feel better. But it really is true. I may not have loads of money, my dream job, or even a job at all, but I am right where I’m supposed to be.

So many decisions led me to where I am today. I wouldn’t be who I am without them. I wouldn’t have the special friends or the relationships I have now if I had gotten my dream job right when I wanted it. I don’t know if that makes total sense, but what I’m trying to say is that you really are where you’re meant to be. I know - it sounds cliche - but it took me a while to realize it. I wish I had figured that out sooner instead of wasting so much time worrying.

Even though I’m not where I thought I’d be at 26, I’m happier than ever. I’m healthy, I have a roof over my head, two beautiful kitties, an amazing partner, great friends, and a healthy family. Those really are the most important things in life.

Growing up is actually so freeing. It’s fun watching yourself change over the years. Like right now, one of my biggest worries is what face cream I should be using to keep my wrinkles away. I know you’re probably thinking, oh my god, she’s 26 - she must have so many wrinkles. Well, I don’t. Thanks to my face cream.

Anyway, getting older is a privilege. You woke up today, got another day, and still have the chance to make your life great. I still sometimes freak out about being closer to 30 than 20, but the amazing older people in my life always tell me, “You’re still just a baby.” And honestly, I am. There’s so much life ahead of me and so much left to do and experience.

I guess the point of this reflection is to take each day as it comes and not stress so much about getting older. Growing in age comes with wisdom and experience - two things we really need in this life.

I’m done blabbing now, but I hope whoever is reading this feels excited about growing older and is happy with the path they’re on right now, even if that path feels “behind” by society’s standards.

Right now, I’m learning to be here and let that be enough, and for the first time, I’m proud of where I am - not just where I’m going.

Then and Now.